October
The most agonizing months
October
Such a gorgeous time of year
Bronze leaves fly through the air
The crunch under my feet
The comfort and warmth of your tone
Talking about our days together
I always enjoyed how much he meant to you
I thought it was sweet and you've never felt this before until now
The letters and sweet nothings
He would kiss you so gently and you'd feel, loved
November
It got colder, it feels cold
The empty void you left in me
The red I'd seen with my own eyes
All the lines had gone blurry
I needed you to get through this
But what was there for me
Talking to someone who wasn't there
Someone who was just a receiver of my cry
What stung more
You only cared about him
When you felt the metal glide
You only thought of him and how he'd feel
It was foolish of me to think you'd care
Care about him more than me
I'd been here this whole time
I never left you
December
In that time you we're gone I felt so alone
So many people surrounded me
But I was all alone with my own thoughts
Thoughts I wish I didn't act on
My eyes dried out by now
No more tears left to cry over you
I thought I was already too late
When you came back I didn't feel relief
January
I didn't think it could possibly get worse
The things you'd say about him to me
How he left you and I'm all you have
I'm trapped
Trapped in an endless loop
I know the loop will end soon
The clock is ticking faster and faster
You don't want me here with you
All you want is out
But I can't wait anymore
I can't stand the agonizing pain
I know you're leaving me
Why stall now?
Did you forget your luggage
Don't worry it's all with me
I can't stand the constant fear
Knowing one day I'll be getting that note